Sunday 16 June 2013

LIKE FATHER LIKE SON OR NOT

Will Smith once said,
*This is weird* I think it would be appropriate if I said, he once acted or quoted someone but no, he said,
"If you are absent during my struggle, don't expect to be present during my success".
And I fear, this is the attitude a large number of children have towards their fathers in our generation for if they are not deceased, they are never there.
I had a conversation with a few workmates yesterday and passionately they voiced what I have always feared, that ours is a generation that has been raised by single mothers what with fathers who deny their own offspring to those who leave them and their mothers to fend for themselves, then there are those who committ to 700 wives, try guessing how many that breed has fathered and funny though it may seem, they always show up to claim paternity after the children are grown and well to do. In a generation of absentee and irresponsible fathers, its easy to understand why these children have no gratitude whatsoever towards them and harbor resentment
           Today is fathers' day and sons and daughters across our nation and perhaps the globe see no reason to celebrate. Who should we blame for fathers neglecting their duty? What can be done to rectify this gross error?
I for one, am not in this particular sect of children, my father has been a hands on dad, still is, he has raised us and fought tooth and nail to see us succeed infact a great deal of who I am today, i attribute to my father. He taught me how to read and write and brought me up in the way of the Lord, i walk in that way even today, I am very secure in the fact that things could go wrong anywhere in the world and daddy is that one person I can and will always depend on to be there, to pull me through it and to fix it. He is my superhero and has always been. I also have conversations with my dad daily and usually they are humourous but today it went something like this,
Me: Daddy I love you, Happy fathers' day
Daddy: Thank you sweetheart, you have been a good father too
Me: Father?
Daddy: Yes father. You have been a good father to your dog and goat.

The two mentioned above are my pets, daddy got me the dog for my 25th birthday and well I got my self the goat and I gave them both names which are hardly helpful to this piece so moving on, the conversation continued. After the laughter had died down, i asked him why, why the fathers in our nation are so irresponsible and this is what my very wise daddy had to say,
"Everyone trains the women, they are counselled, told how to behave in society first by their mothers then by their aunties (Ssengas) before they get married even in marriage counselling, the emphasis is on the women but no one takes time off to do the same for the boys, mentor them and tell them how to behave in marriage or how to behave when their children come or give them the basic sex education, they sort of figure these things out on their own and at times through their peers. He said theirs was a generation that was not well fathered and as such its a legacy that they too have passed on, he however mentioned that he was taught by his father,our grandfather how to treat us while they were on one of their forest planting escapades. Daddies' daddy daddied him and we need someone to do this for our generation so that the unending irresponsible father trend that plagues us today can stop.
Will there be any among the people out there willing to do this for the men in our society today? Will someone daddy the future daddies?
A gentleman I work with gave me hope when he said, "I will not be like my father, I will look after my children, I will love them, I will be different". This is the kind of attitude we need if we are to beat this vice and stop the fatherlessness of our generation. To the fathers who haven't been there for their children, it's never too late to start perhaps today could be that day and children forgive them and allow to start relationships with them as they seek to mend broken bridges, if they don't initiate it, you go ahead and seek them out, this might bring healing to a hurting generation.

That being said, I salute the men who have their act together, the men who have done right by their wives and children, you my dear gentlemen just like my dad, make me proud to say,
"HAPPY FATHERS' DAY"

7 comments:

  1. Seriously I feel sad reading this note when unfortunately i identify mostly with the first part of the storry

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know and I am so sorry but like you 98% of the people in our generation identify with it, we must stop this trend, the balll is in our court now

      Delete
  2. This is a really nice piece. I wish many fathers out there would read it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You,my dear can share it with fathers in your particular sphere of influence and thank you for taking time off to read

      Delete
  3. good staff Becky

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for reading, feel free to share

      Delete
  4. Wow! How did I miss this piece!nailed it Becks!

    ReplyDelete